Much like Chandler in Friends, there is always that one person in any friendship group who no-one has a clue what they do for a living. You know they have a job as they bought you a round of Espresso Martinis last Friday and you’re pretty sure they haven’t watched mid morning TV since the 80’s, but given a boatload of cash and a free Jeep, could you have a guess at what they do?
Well before you start snooping in their bins of accusing them of being MI6, check out the 5 ways you can tell if your friend may be a social worker.
Relationship on the rocks? Kids that just won’t go to sleep? A boss that a bit of a prick? Don’t worry because your social worker friend is here.
You only meant to pop round to theirs for a quick cup of tea and to grab that cardigan they nicked off of you 3 months ago but before your feet have hit the entrance hall you’re sharing all your darkest secrets that would make your teenage ‘Dear Diary’ journals blush. Was it the gentle palm rested on your shoulder, or the way they asked if ‘you’re OK?” Whatever it was, within 5 minutes they’ve dissected your life problems, evaluated them and pushed you back out the house with an action plan and a follow up appointment next Thursday.
You planned to tell them how great Barry was and what an angel little Felicia had been in day care, but soon you’re spilling your guts about Barry’s halitosis and how Felicia took a dump in your Jimmy Choos. Social Worker friends just don’t have an off switch, which is great because usually we charge £35 an hour for that shit.
Whilst your social worker friend is handing out life advice like they’re Oprah during a Christmas special, you can’t help but notice their own lives are a bit of a mess. For starters, they offered you a lift last week and you weren’t sure if they were driving a Fiat Punto or a travelling trash bag of half eaten sandwiches and McDonalds wrappers.
They stopped going to the gym on the day they graduated from University and their idea of a healthy lifestyle is an extra chocolate orange with their Wednesday Wine (for vitamins). The last person to have shared their bedwas a stray cat they adopted 6 months ago and you’re not sure they own an iron, or a vacuum or any type of cleaning material. You’re one margarita away from undertaking an intervention before you turn up at their door and they are dressed for Court and you’re not 100% sure who this put together, responsible human being is in front of you. Maybe they’ll be OK, for a couple more months.
Not since the White Rabbit have you met a person who is able to be so continuously late to everything. Much like that adorable bunny, they pop into every meal, dinner or drinks shouting ‘Sorry I’m late,” and mumbling for 5 minutes about over running meetings, traffic and crisis whilst constantly scrambling for a pen. They tell you their working hours are 9-5 but they haven’t made any social event before dessert since 2005.
Whether you’re confessing to running off with the pool boy or witnessing a 10-man riot in a pub, your social worker friend is the most tolerant person you know. It may be the 2 tonnes of Botox they’ve had injected into their foreheads (to disguise how much they’ve aged since qualifying) but there is rarely a raised eyebrow or an open mouth even in the most frustrating of situations.
Whilst you are ready to blow your lid at the incompetent shop assistant; your social work friend is dreamily mooching alongside you, without a care in the world, hardly noticing that the people around your are impossible. You can’t understand how they keep their cool but whilst you manically head butt the windshield, they’ll be there with a soothing stroke whilst whispering “So, tell me how that feels.”
Whether you life is in full blow melt down, you need a tissue for a snotty nose, or just a friendly cup of tea and a lot of laughs; your social work buddy has got you. There isn’t an issue to small, a glass of wine too big, or a shared nap too long for them. You may not realise all the little things in the background they do for you, but you know that without them, your life would be a lot more stressful and no where near as weird…I mean fun. If you have a social worker in your life, hold onto them, cherish them and for the love of God, get them a pen.
Do you have a secret social work friend or see a bit of yourself in any of these categories? Let me know your thoughts in the comments or catch me over on my socials.
Cara is a social worker and blogger. You can check out her blog at www.rainybayblog.com
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