Social worker Sandra Golightly was treated in hospital for shock earlier today upon having successfully reached the end of her to do list.
Speaking to local press on the ward, Sandra, aged 35, said: ‘I’m not sure what happened. When I realised there was nothing else left on my list, I came over all light-headed and felt faint. Then, the next thing I remember, I woke up in hospital.’
Sandra, who started in the profession eight years ago, went on to say that not only had she completed all outstanding assessments, case notes and phone calls, but she had also completed her mileage form, an e-learning module on data protection and had written up minutes from a meeting she attended back in November.
Bridlesworth Council, who employs Sandra, has responded with praise: ‘We are delighted with Sandra’s performance and wish her all the best as she celebrates this milestone,’ announced a spokesperson.
However, unconfirmed reports indicate that an internal review is now being carried out to establish whether Sandra’s achievements reflect a great day’s work, or whether her manager failed to allocate enough cases.
Speaking off the record, one of her colleagues confided: ’Council policy is to overload employees. Most of us work overtime on a daily basis. I don’t know of anyone ever completing all their work before. Not ever.’
When challenged, Bridlesworth Council has denied these claims, saying that Sandra’s success demonstrates that workloads are, in fact, manageable. However, they could not confirm when a front-line worker had last completed all their work or went home on time.
As for Sandra, to celebrate this monumental achievement she is rewarding herself with a new car and a short break in the Maldives. She has also been nominated for social worker of the year and invited onto Radio 4 to discuss workplace culture – an invitation she has had to decline because she has too much to do.
Matt Bee is a social worker and writer. Every Monday he brings his unique tales of social work parody to socialworktutor.com.